Quirky&Weird

Sometimes life throws you a curveball. You knew it all along it will happen but hope is such a fickle thing!! So, when it does happen it feels worse than it should, because you thought it won’t. What do you do then? As humans we wail and cry and think of ways, we could have avoided it. But we can’t because it’s done. All we can do is move forward with or without the pain. As a lesson or defeat in that moment.

Do we need to talk about it with other people even though we know no one can understand what we are going through? Or do we drown ourselves into it? Which option sounds better? Be vulnerable or be destructive? I will prefer destructive, reason being, vulnerability just does not have enough chaos. When destructive, I just lose me for a time and rebuild, but being vulnerable makes me a target. People don’t empathize; they only listen to make use of it. Everyone has their own issues no one has time to fix yours.

Coming to the curveball, didn’t we know this is how it would be? We did, but did we walk away? No!! We walked further in, the reason, we believed. What did we believe in? Not ourselves because we knew exactly what would happen, we believed in others. Raised our own hopes that people would do right by us. But they didn’t. Was it their fault? No, it’s ours. Did we see all the wrongs and decide to ignore it? Yes! Did we tell them they wronged us? Yes. And what did they say? They gave reasons why they did what they did. Did those reasons make sense? Not to us. It sounded like excuses. But we decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and continued trusting them. It’s difficult to process the situation when it’s not your fault, but it is at the same time. We feel it’s not our fault because we didn’t do anything wrong, but it is our fault because we gave leeway to something that honestly didn’t even deserve our attention. How do we deal with something that was supposed to bring us happiness, but instead gave the most devastating blow that shattered the whole reality? We can go on and on about things that could have been different, at the end the answer is, it happened now we need to learn how to deal with it.

So how do we deal with “it”? We go through all the good, the bad and the ugly and re-live it so we know what outweighed what. We feel happy for the good, we dissect the bad and we completely forgive ourselves for the ugly. Learn why we were in that situation, why we believed and why did we not walk away. Trust that what we did reflects our traits and does not undermine what we believed in. Things didn’t go the way we wanted because the universe was saving us for something much bigger. We knew the curveball was coming but we stood our ground and took the hit. Got hurt, but survived!! We didn’t fold because we are not scared, we didn’t duck because we thought we will lose our head, we stood our ground and got a strike. What this will teach us is to be ready for the next time and maybe we hit a home run.

No words will ever soothe us. No one can comfort us. Only we can be hard on ourselves and hold us accountable. Not every mistake needs a punishment, but it definitely needs a fix.

In the end, we survive by saving ourselves!!